It’s a rarity to find someone who hasn’t experienced that frustrating lull in sexual desire, also known as having a low libido. The real issue tends not to be the libido itself, but the taboo associated with speaking about it openly and honestly.
In this blog we will explore some of the common underlying factors and how to combat them, but its really important to remember that addressing the physiology is only second to being in a patient and communicative relationship, as well as being kind and understanding with yourself.
Is it surprising that there’s nothing more mood-killing than feeling stressed? We are bombarded by stressors every day whether they be of a financial nature, work issues, relationship or family problems… this list goes on. Regardless, the physiological toll of any form of stress will indefinitely be one’s sex drive, which will always take a back seat when more pressing things are demanding your attention.
This consequently increases adrenaline and cortisol levels while simultaneously burying the hormones required for a healthy sex drive i.e. oestrogen and testosterone, not to mention severely impacting our desire for intimacy as our body and mind becomes fatigued and anxious.
What you can do?
Reducing your stress levels is imperative to getting your libido back so do not take it lightly, try to make a conscientious effort to address the tangible things in your life that are causing you to feel worn out and this will flow on to your sex life.
Some straight-forward ways to improve stress for instance may be:
- Getting some more help around the house – PRIORITIZE AND DELEGATE
If you feel constantly run down by house-hold chores, ask yourself if they really need to be done then and there.
Make a to-do list and tackle the first two today, the next two tomorrow and so on – effectively treating it as a work in progress as opposed to feeling overwhelmed by the totality of the jobs at hand. Having a clean and tidy house is important for clarity of mind but we can honestly exaggerate the necessity of cleanliness and order at the expense of our well-being.
Once you’ve done your list, recruit some help if available, if the kids are around this would be a good time to teach them the meaning of collaboration and team work!
- Utilize HERBS and VITAMINS geared toward Stress not Libido.
If you resonate with stress being an influential factor of your waning libido, it may be more beneficial to target this area rather than libido itself, as all the Horny Goat weed in the world will not be enough to address the real problem.
Support your nervous system and adrenals with a good Multi or B-complex vitamin containing high levels of these essential nutrients, and supplement this with calming adaptogenic herbs like Withania, Rhodiola, and the Ginsengs (Siberian and/or Korean) to improve your ability to handle stressful situations.
Dis-ease refers to any condition causing physical or psychological distress in the body, and would undoubtedly have a huge impact on desire. Some of the most frequent physical and mental issues include:
Injury – this can include any type of trauma to the reproductive areas, from procedures like hysterectomies, to childbirth, and of course the physical and mental aftermath of sexual abuse.
Chronic Illness – can severely diminish sexual desire, as pain and fatigue can greatly affect physical and mental wellbeing.
Mental Problems – Mild Anxiety and mood fluctuations/low mood are the more common psychological factors impacting libido, as they can be experienced anytime in an individual’s life, especially in regards to self-confidence and self-esteem - vital components of having a healthy sex drive.
What Can You Do?
- Talk to Your Doctor
Some conditions are serious, and talking to your doctor regarding treatment for whatever it may be you are going through is the only option. What is important is finding a doctor who is dedicated to helping you, this means having the ability to fully engage with you by listening with respect, and working together in designing a treatment program.
- Lifestyle Factors
You can significantly improve your health by the holy trinity of good nutrition, regular exercise, and quality sleep! It’s a no brainer that if you aren’t eating well and are not getting enough exercise the predisposition to illness and chronic conditions is amplified, not to mention self-confidence can be affected by the by-products of unhealthy lifestyle habits – namely obesity, poor quality skin and digestive health, and fatigue.
Sleep is also crucial for feeling well, being our regenerator through the night that enhances detoxification.
Making your lifestyle habits a priority will not only help you feel better about yourself and lower the risk of developing chronic illness, but may also help tackle current health issues whilst increasing your production of neurotransmitters involved in hormone production.
Imbalanced hormones can obviously play a major role in libido fluctuation, as optimal levels for a healthy sex drive can be so easily impacted. The points previously discussed can all contribute to disruptions in healthy hormone production and metabolism, as can natural fluctuations that occur throughout one’s lifetime – especially in women, who go through a myriad of hormonal variations just by having a menstrual cycle.
But the declining levels of testosterone and oestrogen in both men and women as we age can have detrimental effects on desire, here are some tips to help combat these natural changes in hormone levels:
- You can help balance hormones naturally through herbs, proper diet, exercise, and good quality sleep. Working on these elements can go a long way in improving your overall well-being. Furthermore, you can increase the benefits by engaging your significant other to join you in maintaining healthy lifestyle habits, which boosts confidence and the amount of quality time spent in each-others company.
Note: Herbs for hormonal health and stability can be quite unique to the individual, which is why we advise seeking the advice of a qualified Naturopath or Herbalist to get tailored advice for what will work in your particular circumstance.
- It is also a good idea to focus on your relationship, which will have most likely the next greatest influence on your libido. So it’s important to focus on creating some good will - placing an emphasis on communication, and creating an environment that encourages sensuality and intimacy.
Try not to dwell on lack of sexual desire, rather treating it as a transient period of time, as placing too much demand on your self is likely to cause more harm than good. By and large our brain is our primary sexual organ, and adopting a more positive and holistic approach to treating our libido will give a much higher chance of a positive outcome!